2- I am not living but- being lived. I came into the world of Angela's ashes and it looks like I will quit it before it has turned into a global Luna Park; half is already and the other half busting its guts to join, so I will be spared the worst. Recreational reader- move on...
3. Come upon a patch of clover, most will look for a four leaflet, and I for a two. So Talk to God, write a poem a day, make a child, eat an air plane, climb Everest, conquer the world... Blblblh! Endless bondage devices for the (hapless slaves of the great spell)...MMMH, perhaps I should say instead- ...the indefatigable shuttling bees weaving at the enchanted loom... but, then "Cruelty" was forwarded to me and nah, I have to confess my misfortune. Among men I have met only slaves, actors and thieves.
4. Life for homo mecanicus, is a sequence of pleasure seeking obsessive activities that constantly increase in scale and tempo in proportion to his improving economy and technology but show no sign whatever of satiating him to a corresponding moderating effect on his demands. It seems that soon the number one industry in the world will not be food and security but toys and amusements, and the number one threat to the planet- rampant runaway pursuit of pleasure. Have a good day!
5. Unless this planet is soon to be involved in a spectacular cosmic collision, the future looks grim.
6. - So what is truth? -That which the mind does not allow into the garden of earthly delights. Speaking of which...
7. But then there is THIS!...
WORSHIP YOURSELF. Worship of Gods and idols is the barren daughter of fear, distraught and out of control she absconds with the still-born souls of the supplicants. So I say: WORSHIP YOURSELF!... Consider your self-nature divine and worthy of this reflection. And in so doing you will move steadily--shedding all vain and material impediments--towards your divine state.
8. A myth persists in mythology that we have lost and forgotten the wisdom of the ancients. Like the Pelagian heresy it continues to intimate that we were wiser when the whole world was a complete mystery to us and we were more considerate to mother earth when the need to survive was so immediate and crucial that it would preclude any such luxury. Somehow the aura of the noble savage persists, yet the truth must be that in spite of our evidently growing excesses the number of wise people and the quality of their wisdom is greater today than ever before, and moreover, that this trend will continue but to no avail since the chaos and the power of destructive forces wielded by the multitude will increase much more than needed to overwhelm the more graceful character.
In a hard economy the elderly are encouraged to die as soon as possible. In a prosperous economy they are encouraged to "live" as long as possible. In the first case the heart is hardened, in the second the mind softened. Evolution would have to malfunction to get the heart and the mind working together at their optimum potential...
9. This would seriously undermine its function. Unless that is, its aim is not grandiose as it might be inferred, but humble. By Giorge! (George) Is it not possible that the aim of this infinitely prodigious event is a sweet little whisper? Something like a babe's – Mam-ma? “Follow your bliss!” was his endearing imperative which effectively eliminated the whole population of the third world and then some! Is there anything more ungracious than the piety of the privileged?
10. In youth, death is absent and truth is everywhere. With age, death becomes more and more present as truth becomes more and more absent.
11. The most pleasing combination often is a good lie, a half truth and cheerful conviction.
12. ...And the overman has to subdue both his egoism and his altruism. To be partial to anything is to be separate from everything else.
13. Family as a unit places number 2 in the sequence starting with egoism and then followed by tribalism, nationalism, imperialism etc, but it is the base unit for a system which escalates and quickly subsumes the individual who inspired it and all his attributes... arts and sciences and everything... a big can of worms ... ah that Overman! ...
14. On Freddy.
The great hypochondriac must have so despised his feebleness and meekness (body and character) that he was compelled to produce a philosophy around an Olympian-type super hero who would be both invincible gladiator and inimitable poet for the sole purpose of humiliating himself out of existence.
His classic comic hero could take anything that life threw at him and overcome in style and with his spare time and energy destroy, with Spartan cold-bloodedness, all lesserlings… This was his concept of the Overman and the conduct he advocated as man’s greatest and most noble, which not only perfectly belied and mocked his well known condition but at the same time established a precedent of machismo which would inflict on all men a small measure of his wretchedness. So among other things we do not share the same idea of Overman...
15. Gameteus looks up at the starry sky and beholds his greatness, while Freddy's Overman seeks excellence in the stercuriculous pit.
16. One is never as vulnerable as when absolutely certain.
17. On numbers.
The Trinity--I said to mountain man Camozzi--is essentially: subject, object and awareness. The fourth is unnecessary and therefore free to express anything and all things. And so there is maybe. The Great Maybe.
18. It is not chance that the first three are primes and the fourth is factorable to itself and to 1 and 2 but not to 3. It is elegantly inevitable.... and more, maybe every thing builds out to infinite combinations with three essential components and a superfluous fourth. Four numbers, four elements. four dimensions, G.A.C.T, etc. Even God (Everything) is said to be omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent in virtue of which He/It becomes omnilatent.
19. Man is strung up on the rack of his two extremes. So I have resumed mentally reciting the Ave and the Pater simultaneously and consecutively as I explore this trail. I may be bragging but now and then to my endless mental drone I have to add the tricky task of rolling a smoke. Perfection sucks!
20. He might just as well have said: "Fiat Tenebrae!" I would have still come up with "I am wonderful, wonderfully lost for a wonderful moment" And the cup of coffee would have appeared before me again this morning...
Years ago I entered the forest at its darkest point and became lost. I wandered on the pages of this--the darkest proposition--willing to pay the ultimate price for a conclusion. When, through a tear in the canopy, a flicker of light twinkled down into this consciousness. And it became whole again…
21. Fiat Tenebrae!- I exclaimed playfully. And by Jiminy if the light didn’t come on with it and in all the right places! In it, the angels did not rebel, the devil did not sneak into the garden, Adam and Eve did not mess up and the Nephilim did not bring disgrace. But for sure, the creative force bloomed into all forms and abided in them and lost itself with them just as lost as I was in the dark forest. Moreover, in the intentional confusion that followed, one of these creatures wrongly assumed that they “had eaten” of the forbidden fruit when in fact they were that living fruit. This wrong assumption engendered a sense of ego in these creatures which completed the obfuscation. With a separate ego numberless creatures drifted further and further from their origin. In appearance at least, they withered and died. But the creative force itself cannot be extinguished. Eventually the cycle had to be concluded. Creator-Creation-Creator. Or if you will, God-Man-God. In fact any similar combinations can be used to define the magic drama… even Peek-a-boo. So a caveat would have been contradictory and in any case it would not have been about the forbidden fruit, but rather that of the Ivy. What and where you attach yourself, there you die. The illusive sense of ego must be transcended. Let go of it and there will be no one above, no one below. Thou art that... The journey could not have been anything less than overwhelming and almost always disastrous. Now the grandiose finale beckons.
22. On pruning.
Yet this, if anything, is just the beginning. I have dedicated two morning coffees to reflections about this epiphany and I am beginning to think that I may be neither crazy nor ignorant enough to attack the reigning cosmology in order to replace it with one which, on account of our long and persistent attachments, would have to present itself so outrageously wacky that no one would give it a serious thought. Eg., man would have to start by recognizing that the resources of this phenomenal planet are too precious if not altogether unique in the universe to be squandered along basic principles of natural evolution and corporate profit. Although we have the scientific means to replace nature's approach which is profligate and presently unjustifiable we still promote it and with it--population growth--only because it satisfies natural physical desires and insures economic expansion and wealth for our shepherds... (actually, We the people, are industrially farmed consumers). Anyways, with our present technology and with ethical and spiritual growth as an end, at least 90% of humanity is expendable and it would have never got here in the first place had we not been so tardy and reluctant in recognizing and obeying our higher priorities. .... If we continue to gallop towards this Luna Park theme and ignore these great means and higher potential it is almost certain that nature will find a brutal way to penalize us and set us back and on course. So to strive for rational selection and ethical goals we will have to abandon all our comfortable illusions, cherished inferior values and pleasure-directed bad habits.
23. We the people, are industrially farmed consumers... (You said this in the previous paragraph.)
24. A Christian is almost always someone with a large lollypop and a small cross... Usually hanging somewhere doubling as an adornment. To be a Christian in this world can only mean one of two things: you are in the pits of despair... or you are a hypocrite...
25. The next leap...will come after the big crunch and if the earth is too precious a site for a feedlot, the new generations will be too precious to be reared by parents. Leaping with old baggage would merely insure that natural selection can resume operating as usual once the dust has settled, to the delight of people like Edward Bernays and the chance to switch to Rational Selection will be lost. The thing is that natural selection operates on a system based on selective love (family-group, nation etc.) that promotes competition between genes carriers and their supporting affiliations. As technology advances and population increases, conflict which today is irrational of itself, simply escalates to obscene proportions. The baggage to be left behind will of necessity zero in on those elements that by our nature are designed to provide the greatest motivation and pleasure in order to establish a launching pad for more abstract ends and pleasures. Every mother in the world naturally favours her own, so does the family and so on. We know it as Love and we misguidedly and obstinately continue to believe that this emotion is the key to world peace when in effect it has--since the dawn of time--promoted conflict in which natural selection marched on then as it does at present. Yet it is now possible to assign to science the function of selection and be free to forge a new aspiration as the path to the future of mankind.
26. On peace and freedom.
To do great things one needs desire, direction and means, for great good things one must add compassion. But to do right, to do that which embraces and purifies all virtues, one needs only clarity... It is said that on his death bed Goethe was asked what he would like to see more of in the world and that he replied: “More light!” Ask anyone what peace or freedom means and it will become immediately evident that these notions spring from human emotions and desires. Freedom may ultimately evoke some sort of delirium and peace an irrational and unsustainable state of perpetual bliss. Eschewing all emotional human entanglements stands Right. Not righteousness, for this is loaded with self-adulating and religious connotations, but just plain right as in the Eight Noble Truths. I have--only recently--discovered the serenity that envelopes me when I manage to base a decision on neither kindness nor on justice but just on what the particular occasion presents as right. It is (creates? provides?) a wonderful sense of peace and freedom because it is a response to right reason which totally bypasses and thus eliminates the self and its self interest. If I help someone I do not become flushed with goodness, if I give I do not feel blessed, I merely feel released (free and at peace) from a situation which normally would elicit feelings of obligation compassion and then accomplishment. And to do right does not even require means, to do so one requires only basic sustenance… a bowl…and clarity. Of course a bowl, saffron robe do not
27. Si fallor sum-(If I err, I am.) To err is divine temptation. The greater my erring the more vivid my consciousness of being.
28. I am the "other" (someone has figured it out), at 40 cycles per second.
29. It is no wonder that the ways of the Lord are precisely as mysterious and numerous as our necessities and ways of self deception.... And so we will be played with, in the field of Maya until the day we rebel.
30. The following does not seem to make sense this morning...
- Finally, in dreams the dreamer plays all the parts, provides the script and conjures the setting so that something over which he has no control will appear to be happening to him...
It is providing me with an interesting problem. Was I wrong when I wrote it? Am I wrong now? Or is it possible to imagine a condition whereby I may be wrong in both cases? Like... when part of a general underlying insanity. Yeah, like religion, most philosophies or romantic ideals and politics are all elements of the same great spell. And THE BEST of all, the most formidable (I will say it just once more) Love! - which we passionately believe will solve our world's problems when in fact it fosters them, and so becomes the most unavoidable recurrent and ruinous solution...
31. How screwed up are we? -What manner of clowns we are is currently demonstrated in South Africa. History records our senseless savagery. And how obscenely misguided our imagination can be is clear in that we have conceived and promoted the belief of a place of eternal torment. N.b. "Blessed" is the name of one enemy. and Yeah! Love, that gentle might that bids petals to open in spring, will also launch a thousand ships. Or, I suppose, I.B.Ms nowadays...
32. I can't have a purpose and be free at the same time, alas the contrary is also true. So, to be free is a very depressing state. Unless you have power...
33. I find that as a writer it is not possible for me to be honest without being seditious, sacrilegious and obscene, which is just as I was when I was an arrogant young idiot. It seems then that the world has caught up with me...
34. I have to sing my song. Not a medley and not to entertain. Not because it is that good or better than anyone else's, but just because it is a song, it is my song, and no one else's.
35. ... as a writer that means writing spontaneously, never censoring anything later on for whatever reason and with no reader, no critic, and no success or failure in mind.
36. Freedom without power can only get me time on a park bench. So I had to change my perspective about power, and in degrees, everyone else's...
37. I find that what I have in common with most writers and poets is the species. There are exceptions of course, and recently I found one of a different sort. A young poetess with an old German shepherd visited me, and try as I may...
38. A man of conscience and integrity must be at war with God. An intelligent man, has better things to do.
39. I hardly ever worry about being absurd. The opposite does worry me a lot though, because I have no idea what that might be. Ah! a mason?... A masonic methodist dentist?...
40. In the end my one firm conviction and consolation is that it must be almost as difficult to get everything wrong as it is to get anything right.
41 - You may feel I need chastising and say to me- But where were you when God laid the foundations of the world?
And I would have to reply simply- I am here! --
42- Six billions idiots cannot be right! In nature, high numbers denote high rate of failure, even oysters and puff balls know that.
43- Of gods and madmen the sky is the limit...
44- It is by the power of reason that you will conquer eternity
45- If death -as it seems- is the purpose of life, we must place those insects that sleep in safety till they are ready to come out aND GET THE CYCLE OVER IN ONE ball party day, at the summit of the evolution cycle. Man takes so long to die. Being fast and a restless kind , he takes even longer than a sequoia..
46 - I think that the 3rd law of motion apllies perfectly to our expanding knowledge. it leads us away from us... God like narcissus is awestruck by his image, his fantastic creation, loses himself in it and eventually he is undone only to pop up somewhere else and start all over ..
47- Tere are two orders of logic to go with the two orders of reality, which meet or diverge at the thinking appparatus. Were I to meet god I would have the dickens of a time trying to explain to him what life is like...
48 - In a democracy, freedom is index of the passivity that the institution has been able to cultivate in its constiutuents.
49,- ..But before you take off remember that knowledge gained = innocence lost. every personal gain comports a comparable loss. It is the law. So- Break the law! Do something right with no gain in mind phisical or otherwise. Nay, do only what is right.. Check # 26. Right is not motivated by reward, like pleasure, admiration or love. It isn't even done in response to a sense of duty, it is above beyond morality. It simply is off the scale of our selfcentred measuring and evaluating abits, it is just ! Bonds, loyalties, family, love. country ,security,and pleasure have nothing to do with right thought and action. Those are the things that makes the world go round, and round like a crushing millstone. Right is above and beyond everyithing that this world demands or provides. Its sorce transcend the human and leads itto a superior state... And right- also includes dying at the right time, and with the right attitude. Clinging on and on is lethal. Even preachers popes and saints do that. If you must believe anything at all, believe that you are better than that.
50- Aw shocks! I like to write whatever comes to mind and not worry about appearing as stupid as i am at times, but I hate when I sound like a preacher. If I preach some one should kill me/ It is so easy to slip from saying what you think to preaching it, . In fact methinks there is a preacher lurking inside everyone of us.. .So caveat lector
51- it is hard to know that is right sometimes. some things are more right than others. I have beem on the razor edgem of a dilemma with my family. I consider family and love to be the base of all human activities from discriminating to genocide. Family- tribe- society- nations are the marching gears of natural selection. as Schopenhauert suggests, this system of competing for resources and insuring one's own and one's beloved and allies survival by prevailing we comply with nature's amoral strategy whereby each one becoms the devil of the other. So I have withdrown. to a minute distant outpost ... my self.
52- But a touch of pity turns the animal into a monster.
SO do not lie there! Do not lie down in it!
Ride!... RIDE it! Ride your damn coffin over the borderlands...
53 -There were times that -like most clever idiots- I was blinded by my brilliance. Other times, I was blinded by other's brilliance. E.G Ronald reagan stating so persuasively : " THere is no susbstitute for victory!" I went through that stage soon after I was house trained as a fascist trainee. Not long after that I lost the war and found out that one must be,,, circumspect with brilliant logic or rethoric. Brilliance has finally set beyond the horizon of logic and i am starting to distinguish something totally different! Sure enough I am diffident. But i will pass on what I seem to discern, so that some of you may take advantage if possible or kindly warn me of a late bloomin kind of blindness.
54-Maybe always conveys its meaning with the greatest of certainty
55- I am beginning to think that wisdom has a top limit and it bothers me that try as I may I cannot find a way to say the same thing for stupidity at the other end it...
56 - .I am a broken promise...
57 -You cannot have a purpose and be free...
58 -And the opposite, freedom without a purpose would be meaningless...or worse.....
59 - A man for change is a lonely self motivated creature. So it should be, the opposite is clearly true.
60 - Pain alters the value of time
61 My personal existence is inversely proportionate to my detachment from existence. I take this to be the meaning and only possible application of the greatest imperative: Man must die and be reborn. This is the exhortation to break the evil spell to which he is confirmed by his own nature to the most blinding and pernicious of all truths, That love, which he considers his greatest attribute, a divine gift and the sure way to redemption, permits him and wills him to commit the most brutal acts against his fellow man. Unless man is able to subdue this dark passion and dedicate himself to a logical and stoical administration of what is just, his folly will continue to produce iniquities, greater strife, more murderous wars and inevitably drive him to his final and total self destruction.
62 There js nothing that a good writer cannot write which a good reader cannot read, I am counting on it!
63 an athletica mind will behave like an athletic body. It will run when there is no hurry and lifet when there is no need. and so if you sre thinking of bargaining your way to heaven, you are not Heaven's material. So forget about cleverness because....
64 Victors beware!
e is becoming the art of erring in the future, and I just got the hang of making a mess of the present.. But I think I do so with left over material from my best, albeit limited, personal successes.
76- They have figured out that what caused the big bang was a couple of braines. NOW I want to know where they came from!
75 - Bis: Six billion idiots cannot be right!... If evolution is the way nature works out problems, those values and aspirations that the great majority share, must be vain, and the methods employed, wrong.
74- i forget!..oh yeah! scientists are churning out dimensions and universes and i am still trying to figure out if there are any at all.... Life could be a theatrical representation of mind's reveries complete with real special effects. A story played out in a language. that , unlike spoken language which uses metaphores .to cvommunicate action and concepts, it vivifies those events and concepts on a stage where interpreters completey isdentify with the characters and the drama.
73 So much darkness and foisted choices.
72 between pleasure and fear woeful is the balance
71 - Everything is possible and nothing is certain. That is why everything is possible.
70- I was born locked inside a vehicle in the middle of a global demolition derby
69 - When I move I rearrange the universe.
68- Infinity has nothing to do with space. Eternity nothing to do with time.
67- lastlly, the cosmos comes with a lot of failures, detritus, pain, garbage, mendacities and illusions, lots of these with your gullible complicity.
66- science say that When matter is created an equal amount of antimatter is also created.. Zeitgeist is the latest demonstration that this symmetry is operating when fantasy matches our best attempts to consolidate reality.
65 If the big bang was planned, God, among other things, started out as a pyromaniac. sheeesh!
unless, lest I be brahma I have failed... that doesn't make sense now! Or does it? I wonder what I had in mind?
