Gee , am feeling like the wandering jew lately. Done some funny things in the state i am in. Mel , a well tanned viking strong as an ox, sits there balancing a beer on his knee and complaining about his allergy to dust. So I get the vacuum out, and the place really needs it, and I do the whole place properly like it may have never been done before. and i feel good about it, my trophy is a dust pan heaped with fine dirt that i scooped up from under the entrance rug and a lot of dessicated flies and spiders from the window sills. I am beyond exhaustion, my heart is pounding so fast I cannot count and I am gasping , yet i feel good- and strangely what i find cheerful - a little stupid. The notion i have been trying to implement across the board this last few years, is that i should aim to do what is right...[aphorism #26 in my A.D. bio] - i think- It is much easier than trying to do good, but I am not sure that my condition should not be taken into account. And anyways, I can only die vacuuming! It is probably way down the list, maybe not even on it! There, another reason to feel better.
that was a couple of days ago, to day I am trying to decide if I should go get my blood checked. I see no signs of blood in me. my body it seems is compensating for the lack of it by dessicating like the flies and the spiders on the sills ,but while I am still alive! Oh , to tell you the truth, i have no way of knowing if I am indeed alive. But I am losing mass! Right? Therefore I am! The skin on the inside of my fingers and even on the palms of my hands is wrinkling. If I keep going, I will be able to observe my own mummification. That too I find cheerful. Hell, I never liked rules, why should I start accepting them now just because it involves something as common as death?
Mmmmh, I dont remember if I did figure out why the termination program never fails. Technically it ought to! it is a program! Yet it never ever happens. I wish that it would not start now. I do not fancy living in eternity like a mummy.
